Go On A Charm Offensive
Have you met someone like this? When you were introduced, they smiled, entered into conversation easily and drew you out? They probably asked you questions about yourself, and listened to what you said. They made you feel important. When you parted, you probably thought to yourself, ‘What a great person!’
Not only is it easy to be in their company, they are at ease with themselves.
Am I describing someone you know, or am I describing the person you want to be?
Charm is contagious. To be a charmer, you should be assertive but not arrogant, vain or conceited. Charmers are confident and they build self-esteem in others. They have broad horizons, are not narrow minded and are enthusiastic. Above all, they are curious, asking lots of questions. They empathise, are responsive, have a great sense of humour and are frequently self-deprecating. They are at ease using a number of different communication styles and often employ ‘mirroring’ techniques. And, they know how to listen!
Mastering The Art Of Good Questions
This is perhaps the single most powerful interpersonal tool in building business connections. A good question is one which shows you are interested in the other person. It’s an open question – requiring more of an answer than just ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Good questions convey competence, sincerity and sympathy. You should practise the art of listening too. By paying attention to what people say, you can note this information for future use. If you greet someone the next time you meet by asking them how they enjoyed their holiday in Antigua, (assuming that it was their holiday destination) you’ll rise high in their estimation.
Summary
Seven steps for making connectionsYou’ve networked to make connections. You now recognise the crucial differences between networking and connecting. Let’s look at how we make connections again.
1 Database
Hopefully, you’ve designed and customised your business network architecture (the database). The next step is to audit existing and past connections. You have noted the relationships that are still valuable or potentially useful, and added all the new information you’ve collected.
2 Categories
Have you designated each contact an appropriate category – cross-referencing where necessary?
Now you are looking to link your contacts together. Start by connecting individuals where there are possible collaborations, complementary skills and services, potential partnerships and alliances.
At this point you are in a position to help your contacts by sharing connections to win, retain and develop their careers or business. Internally, within your company, you’re aware of the importance of relationship-building, empowering individuals and teams. You’re ready to facilitate connections between employees, employers and other influencers to deliver outstanding results.
3 Links
With practice you’ll be aware of the skills required to handle delicate issues, where sensitive business connections and confidentiality are paramount. You will also be noting which people would be best positioned to assist you when these opportunities arise.
4 Keep In Touch
It always pays dividends to let your contacts know that you consider them special and worthy of particular value. That alone can set you apart from others, particularly those who do not understand the benefits of one-to-one attention.
Don’t forget that when one of your contacts leaves a company, you have diverging paths. Not only do you want to keep in touch with your friend in his new position, but you will also want to start a rapport with his successor. So many people fail to track their contacts when they relocate and waste a valuable resource by doing so.
By establishing and maintaining communication with your contacts on a regular basis, you are putting yourself ahead of many people. You will earn respect, encourage trust and add value to the relationship you are nurturing and developing. Keep your connections warm and friendly. People naturally gravitate towards those who they feel will be empathetic. Pay attention to your contacts’ needs and wants, and when the time comes, let them know how you can help.