Be Selective
It’s impossible to keep in touch with everybody you meet, and it’s not necessary to do so.
There comes a time when people move on and you lose touch. But with good organisation and an effective network you can maintain a link with these contacts through mutual third parties.
You’ll probably know how effective this is if you’ve used networks such as Friends Reunited. By maintaining contact with, say, only three friends from school days, you can get linked to many others who attended the same educational establishment at roughly the same time.
There are numerous websites now that offer networked links from one group of professionals to others. This is a fairly quick, effective and safe way of increasing your contacts. It’s positive proof of the rule of ‘Six Degrees of Separation’.
The idea of Six Degrees of Separation was devised by the American social psychologist, Stanley Milgram in the 1960s. His original experiment, using posted letters forwarded from person to person, suggested most
people are connected to each other through a chain of about six acquaintances. (The 1993 film
Six Degrees of Separation, starring Donald Sutherland and Will Smith, was inspired by this research.)
Apparently, the small world phenomenon is not only real now but far more universal than most people think. Scientists want to research further to provide answers to such questions as how ideas spread, why fashions come and go, how a small failure can cause catastrophic global consequences (either scientifically or financially).
The fact that the Six Degrees rule works helps to explain why, amongst many things, complete strangers often turn out to have mutual friends and why gossip can spread so quickly. The press often contains reports on the way electronic messages (particularly ones of dubious sexual content) spread like wildfire across the world within hours, causing acute embarrassment to the unfortunate sender.
But one important factor in all this is motivation. If you lose interest in the process, everything falls apart.
If apathy prevails, nothing will happen. There has to be an incentive to continue to build your network, increase your contacts base and develop business relationships. This comes down to your own personal attitude.
Suggested Methods Of Connecting
Some people host networking events, others belong to a selected number of professional associations and attend their meetings regularly.
You can use a number of opportunities, such as receptions, parties, industry-related conferences, seminars and workshops. Attending exhibitions, professional interest group workshops, private social functions and sport and leisure events are also useful.
There is limitless opportunity these days to meet people and foster good connections, but it’s only with persistence that the relationships will flourish. You can’t become ‘best friends’ with someone by putting in sporadic appearances every six months!
Whatever you do, wherever you feel most comfortable, be alert and open to making connections.
The difference between ‘networking’ and ‘connecting’ is that there is more than one common thread running throughout.
In addition to your profession, the event at which you are both present, or the fact that you have been introduced through a mutual friend or colleague, you probably have other links in common.
New Approaches
Invest some time in polishing up your existing network. Work out where your new contacts fit in, and how they dovetail with your existing contacts.
Spend time working out how best to categorise and detail them. Think about whether they are decision-makers, influencers, bridges, links or gatekeepers.
- A decision-maker is someone who can award contracts and has the power to agree to something you want to happen.
- An influencer’s word carries weight if he mentions you to the decision maker – sometimes called a recommender.
- A bridge is someone who can introduce you to another person you want to contact who you can’t otherwise reach.
- A link is a mutual connection between you and someone else which helps establish credibility and trust with the new person – not to be confused with name dropping.
- A gatekeeper is the person that stands between you and your desired contact – always be extra nice to them.
It used to be a rule in the early days of my career that young men were told ‘always be nice to young women – you never know who they might marry’.
This is rather out of date (and shows my age) but the advice is still relevant. In today’s world of ever-changing jobs and faster communication, it pays to be respectful and polite to everyone wherever possible. Someone you meet today could so easily turn up in six months’ time at another location or organisation. If they remember you, they could perhaps influence someone favourably on your behalf.
Decide who belongs in which category, where the gaps are and how you are going to set about filling them.
Consider who can help you to do this and what you can offer them in return.
To assist you, here are a few A words to consider:
- How should I approach people?
- My aim to communicate appropriately.
- Asking – enquire first and then listen.
- Develop an attitude of gratitude.
- What action should I take?
- Offer assistance and ask for help.
- When enquiring about something be attentive and aware.
- Keep alert to the possibilities of alliances which can add value.
- Learn to appreciate others and their abilities.
- Analyse situations to your own advantage.
- Be adaptable to other people’s needs.