How To Be Memorable

One of the major aims of the exercise is to make connections, but if those connections can’t recall who you are, it isn’t any benefit to you:

• By being polite and courteous, you will be unforgettable. Go on a charm offensive. Deal with people kindly and sympathetically. Offer to fetch someone a drink, or introduce a stranger into your group.

• Take pride in what you do and be professional. Whatever the occasion, you never know who you might meet. Keeping a conversational tone to your voice encourages people to respond to you in a friendly manner.

• Speak slowly and clearly. So often in modern venues there is loud background noise because of the lack of soft-furnishings. Conversations are hard to maintain above this level of sound, so speak in a way that makes it easier for others to hear what you have to say.

• You need not feel insignificant when talking to others who are more brilliant or experienced than yourself. Remember emotional intelligence stands out way beyond paper qualifications. Develop the swan technique – keep a calm exterior and smooth behaviour. No one can see what’s going on beneath the waterline.

• Try to establish connections with people. This comes naturally with practice. Have you both recently been on holiday? Do you come from a particular region/ country? If there are some wallflowers, seek them out by asking if they have seen the host/hostess. You may be equally shy but it will help you overcome your nerves.

Some Common Pitfalls To Avoid

It’s equally important to avoid being remembered for the wrong reasons:

• Avoid clumsy exit lines – try, ‘I’ve taken up enough of your time. I really mustn’t monopolise you any longer.’ Watch your body language and gestures. Don’t rush – tension is easily communicated.

• If you have a time limit, be polite and excuse yourself with tact. If you have a tendency towards the ‘butterfly’ technique – slow down. You can’t speak to everyone in the room, so there’s no point in trying.

• Make appropriate eye contact so as not to unnerve your companion. The eye dart – looking at a person for less than two seconds before your gaze flicks elsewhere – is most unsettling. The opposite – the fixed unblinking stare – is just as bad. Also avoid ‘mowing the lawn’ – looking from one side of the room to the other. It is disconcerting for those in your group, as well as being impolite.

• Check those annoying habits. However tense you may be, playing with your hair, fiddling with jewellery or tie (your own or someone else’s) is not acceptable. Any hand-wringing, twitching or fidgeting is vastly irritating to watch.

• For those who are particularly nervous it may sound simple but don’t forget to breathe! This simple relaxation technique is often overlooked. Most experienced actors and public speakers practise deep breathing before going out on stage. What works for them will work for you.

• If you are bored, don’t sit down. It’s too easy to get trapped that way or you may appear unapproachable.

• Use light-hearted anecdotes as conversation fillers, but always be sensitive to other people’s feelings. Also consider this when initiating a conversation by asking a question. Make sure the question is innocuous.

• If you mind has gone blank ask for someone’s business card on the pretext of giving it to another guest by way of introduction. Repeat their name a couple of times to (hopefully) fix it in your mind.

• Respect other people’s personal space – stand about one metre away from people you don’t know well. Body language will indicate if and when it’s safe to approach more closely!