Prepare Yourself

• Be positive and outwardly confident – it will make you stand out above others. Don’t worry if you have butterflies, research shows that over 90% of people feel fear about walking into a room full of strangers.

• Avoid arriving with coats, bags, umbrellas and other paraphernalia. Leave belongings at the cloakroom so you can appear calm, unflustered and unencumbered. Remember, you are judged in the first fifteen seconds of meeting someone. You don’t want to blow your opportunity.

• Rehearse entering the room. Pause on the threshold and look around. Don’t head straight for the bar. Take a few deep breaths. This will calm you down and give you a moment to recall your strategy.

• Smile – it signals confidence and openness.

• If you enter the room alone, look for other people standing on their own and make an approach. The chances are that they are feeling awkward, too. Striking up a conversation with them will show that you care about others and are not preoccupied with yourself. It will help them feel better about being there and you will have made a new friend already.

• Practise your introduction on someone beforehand – even if it is your dog! The stronger your greeting – the more memorable it is.

• Try introducing yourself by your first name. It is more informal and you will convey the impression of being approachable. You can begin by saying your name twice, as in ‘Hello, my name’s Bond, James Bond.’

• When introduced to someone, have a firm handshake. Try to avoid bone crunching, please. Have the name of your host or organisation at the ready. Know whose guest you are, or what group you are expected to join.

Making An Entrance

How you enter the room and engage people is very important:

• To make an impact, work on your opening line. This is often called a ‘lift pitch’. Rehearse a sentence which summarises what anyone needs to know about what you do in thirty seconds.

• Posture is important – stand up straight. At business functions you should always be alert and attentive.

• Look around the room for acquaintances or friendly faces. This doesn’t mean grabbing a colleague and cowering in a corner with them for the rest of the evening, avoiding everyone else.

• Maintain appropriate eye contact. Avoid staring, glaring, winking, blinking or looking straight over people’s shoulders to others beyond.

• Stay relaxed – gripping the stem of your wine glass until it breaks isn’t a smart idea.

• Develop good rapport by asking a non-threatening question. Open questions are best rather than something that is likely to produce a yes/no answer. Even an enquiry as simple as ‘How far did you have to travel to get here?’ opens the conversational gambit.

• Be animated. This can be simply a matter of varying the your vocal tone. A demonstration of your limbo-dancing skills is not necessary!

• Find a way to ‘hook’ your audience. If you propose to use humour – watch out for ‘political correctness’. You can charm people by being sincerely interested in them and listening to what they say.

Things To Watch Out For

While there are quite a few ‘dos’, there are also some things (and people) that it’s best to steer clear of:

• If you can, avoid contact with potential troublemakers, such as, for example, the person who’s had too much to drink and wants you to give them a lift home.

• It’s best not to lecture people or use emotive gestures, however passionately you may feel about the subject under discussion. Don’t be aggressive or speak with force. This is not Parliament or Speakers’ Corner.

• Decisive people don’t dither. If you find yourself in awkward company and you want to make a discreet exit from the group, prepare yourself. Become the master of the graceful withdrawal. Make your excuse politely but firmly. Say, ‘I’m sorry, but I see my colleague is about to leave and I must speak to him.’

• By all means eat the delicious food that’s being handed round but don’t eat and talk at the same time.

• It’s difficult to engage in meaningful conversation with someone whose mouth is full. Equally, if you are eating when you’re asked a question, wait until you’ve finished before replying. No one likes being showered with crumbs and particles of food.

• Rapport is a two-way thing. Dominating people often monopolise conversations with loud, uninteresting details about themselves. Withdraw with tact and dignity. In the same way, if you’ve tried several opening gambits and have been met by a blank stare and monosyllabic answers, it’s time to move on.

• Beware the predatory person whose sole purpose is to meet and attempt to date attractive fellow guests. (This warning is non-gender specific.) Also watch out for limpets, the nervous types who, having earmarked you as friendly, stick to you throughout the evening and are impossible to shake off.