Relationships, Referrals, Results, Rewards
This chapter starts with some R words.Because you have worked at your networking, making connections and building relationships, your strategy is in place. There are, however, a few rules which should keep your relationship-building on track.
Keep Up The Numbers
If you find your new contacts decreasing, you could be stuck in a routine. If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always got. People make decisions about where they spend their time based on perceived worth. If the networking events you’ve been attending have lost their value to you, take a step back and have a look at your options for change.
Maybe you could vary the organisations you belong to, or the ways in which you seek to make new contacts.
Make a ‘hit list’ of new people you want to meet and try to contact between three and five each week. Build in a culture of asking your new contacts to introduce you to one or two new people and doing the same for them. This way your ‘new blood’ simply has to increase.
Speak to those people you have not contacted for over a year. Follow up those who have left organisations and moved on to pastures new. Build relationships with their successors and track down your old contacts. They will be flattered you have traced them and be happy to reestablish a connection with you. Who knows, they may just have been waiting for you to contact them.
Ask friends and colleagues to invite you to visit their business networking events as a guest.
It’s sometimes a good idea to meet a completely new crowd. And what a great morale booster if you get there and someone recognises you.
The Five Rules Of Relationship-Building
When breaking new ground, remember the five rules of relationship building.
Empathy
The ability to put yourself in the other person’s position and see things from their point of view. It may come naturally to you, or you may have to acquire this skill. Empathy is vital and it has to be visible. Your business contact should feel that you understand. When you hear him say, ‘You’re a good person to work with’ you can be assured you’ve got empathy!
To start the process, introduce yourself briefly and set about the task of finding some common ground as
quickly as possible. It should be possible to establish two or three things in common with a new acquaintance within a minute or two.
Small talk should be used as a tool. The purpose is to uncover something that you have in common which will help establish rapport. Once you are no longer strangers, you have begun the process of establishing an individual connection. It is much easier to build a relationship once that stage has been reached.
Courtesy
Engage with someone by being sympathetic. It will surprise them and make them feel human. Small talk can so often seem superficial and artificial. Get into real conversation with your business contact and watch for the warmth of their reaction. Look for visual and verbal clues to assist in establishing the relationship. Make your voice warm and engaging and use positive body language. Watch for any signs of mirroring to help you.
Enquiry
Use open questions to elicit information and encourage conversation. If you’re having difficulty in eliciting information from someone, it can be very frustrating being faced with just ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ answers. There is one technique which is called ‘the string of pearls’. It means connecting one thought to another. You can try practising this technique during the small talk process at business events. Openers, such as a book you’ve just
read or a film you’ve recently seen, can be sufficient to get you started.